Dirking Off #7 - NBA Regular Season Week 8*
Mavs nonalysis including, and quite limited to:
A rushed summary of the Portland and Phoenix games
A nearly ceaseless berating of LeBron James
Patrick caught in the act of dirking off
*Music: "When Hammer Hits Stone" by RTB2
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Dirking Off #5 - NBA Regular Season Week 6*
Mavs nonalysis without the benefit of notes.
*Music: "When Hammer Hits Stone" by RTB2
Friday, December 3, 2010
On winning a championship
Basketbawful just made, I think, the best statement of what a NBA championship team consists:
"It's hard to win a championship. Typically, you need a Top 5 Guy to be The Man, a Top 10 or 15 Guy to be The Sidekick, several efficient roleplayers who don't mind selflessly killing themselves on the boards or on defense or in whatever role they're asked to perform, and a bench that goes at least three or four solid players deep. Oh, and you need good coaching."
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Dirking Off #4 - NBA Regular Season Week 5*
Mavs nonalysis.
*Music: "When Hammer Hits Stone" by RTB2
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Uberman vs. Uberdick
Said David West:
"I just thought [Dirk Nowtizki] felt like was able to do what he wanted to do, and I'm just not going to allow that kind of leeway."
West's promise of tough defense limited Nowitzki to 29 points on 11 of 19 shooting, so way to hang tough, David.
Of course, West was referring to the only effective moment of defense he had guarding Dirk: stealing the ball as the lanky German attempted to dribble behind his back. I'm not sure Nowitkzi comprehends the full magnitude of this dumbassery.
"I decided to go with a behind-the-back move, which was obviously the wrong move to make. So, just a bad move at the wrong time."
No, I'm sorry, Dirk. It's the wrong move at any time. If I'm going to yell at any Mavericks player not named Nowitzki for taking a jump shot, I'm definitely going to yell at any Maverick not named Kidd attempting to dribble behind the back.
In insecurity news, here's West's take on his imaginary rivalry with Dirk.
"There's tension between us...It's just from playing over the years and being in the same division and just having history."
Uh huh. That reminds me of the time I brushed against some girl's boob in the sixth grade lunch line and told all my friends we were dating.
Sorry, David (Career 7,531 pts), you're in a class below Dirk (21,347 pts). You're good, but Dirk won't be circling any "yes, no, maybe" notes from you. He probably won't even read them.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Dirking Off #3 - NBA Regular Season Week 3
Mavs nonalysis including:
Deshawn Stevenson: Starter or Paperweight?
Jose Juan Barea: Point Guard or Lilliputian SG?
Centerlink: The Tandem of Chandler and Haywood.
LeBron James, Malkovich, Malkovich
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Dirking Off #2 - Week 1
Mavs nonalysis*, including Richie's new look NBA. Check it oot, Toronto:
Western Conference--
Pacific Division
LA Lakers
San Diego Clippers (owned by U.S. Navy, coached by Admiral David Robinson)
Golden State Warriors
Sacramento Kings
Portland Trailblazers
Southwest Division
Las Vegas Prairie Dogs (fmrly Toronto Raptors)
Utah Bees
Denver Nuggets
Phoenix Suns
Albuquerque Fallout
Dust Bowl Division
Kansas City Knights (fmrly Orlando Magic)
Oklahoma City Thunder
Dallas Mavericks
San Antonio Spurs
Houston Rockets
Eastern Conference--
Rust Belt Division
Chicago Bulls
Detroit Pistons
Milwaukee Bucks
Indiana Pacers
Cleveland Cavaliers
Atlantic Division
Boston Celtics
New York Knicks
Brooklyn Nets
Washington Tasers
Philadelphia 76ers
Southern Division
Memphis Grizzlies
New Orleans Jazz
Atlanta Hawks
Charlotte Bobcats
Miami Heat
*Music: "When Hammer Hits Stone" by RTB2
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Dirking Off #1 - Preseason
Dirking Off #1 - Preseason
Mavs nonalysis including, but probably limited to:
Inane banter
Off-season moves
Starting 5s
Projected Finish
Music: "When Hammer Hits Stone" by RTB2
Mavs nonalysis including, but probably limited to:
Inane banter
Off-season moves
Starting 5s
Projected Finish
Music: "When Hammer Hits Stone" by RTB2
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